Read Stories About Idiots
| Title | Story | Category |
| Pointless...? | Me and My friend Ally were sitting at our desks and our teacher passes out these compasses called "Pointless" compasses because they have no points on them. Ally raises her hand and says, "Why are you making us use these if they are pointless?" She thought that pointless meant it had no use...what an idiot! | School |
| I am THE IDIOT | Allright here i go, i am an idiot cause well there is this girl at my school and she is like a godess. I'm not just saying that cause she's "hot". no she was beautiful. and all my friends told me to finally ask her out, cause i was getting on their nerves because i just could't shut up about her. well so i'm like: " i'll ask her ,dont worry, just not now". and then one day i come home and my parents happily announce that we're moving to nyc. and a couple of weeks later we move and now i'm in nyc and i hate it and i feel miserable and i just feel like crawling into a hole and stay there. my life has lost meaning. and that is why i am an idiot cause i never had the guts to ask out the most gorgeous girl on the planet. superman 666 | Everyday |
| mouse problem | I was training a user in a new system and I overestimated their computer experience and ability. When I asked him to place the mouse over the small picture on the screen he picked up the mouse and held it to the monitor. John Tumbridge | Work |
| How to scare idiotic kids | Hello. Today my friend and I were idiots, so we thought we'd let you know. (Before we begin, I would like to comment that my friend is a bigger idiot because she likes dodgy jiggy pop-reggae music - and knows all the idiotic words). Anyway... We were slobbing about in the house (being TOTALLY bored)when two little kids started banging on the door wanting to see my friend's little sister, who'd gone out. We ignored them for a while, but they kept coming back and banging on the door like idiots. We can only take so much stress. After quite a long time of getting very stressed, we decided to take action in the form of yelling out the window (concealed by a large net curtain) "WHO'S THAT KNOCKING ON MY DOOR???????!!!!!?????!!" They scrammed faster than you could laugh out loud because it was very very very very funny. You had to be there, but try it yourself sometime. Oh, are you classed as an idiot if you dance the konga at midnight on Thursdays wearing nothing but a tea cosy and a bunch of bananas? Answers, please people. | Everyday |
| Dumb or WHAT? | I started a new job with this company in their data entry section. After a couple of weeks they keeped me on and I was up for my perminent user account. I was given this help desk pack with would tell me how to set up some of the systems so that the help desk wouldn't have to turn out to do simple stuff. However the technology of paper and pen must have confused them as in side the pack they said that I would have to register for my e-mail account using e-mail on an account I didn't have. Not so bad! Just a miskate.... I thought 'O.K.' I'll just call and talk to someone that'll sort it out? No such luck! They told me to register for my e-mail account and password by using my e-mail account which I could log onto using my e-mail account and password. | Techsupport |
| idiots | My friend and I were walking to school and as we were near the school gate he fell over his own FEET!!!!!!!!!!! I laughed at him and said he was an idiot. My friends name is Luke Thompson-Leane ByC.W.Birleson | Everyday |
| Bad customer service | Went out one day to the department store to buy some running shoes, and since I dont like anything heavy on my feet, I picked out two pairs and asked the lady to weigh them. She said "with what" and I proceeded to tell her that there was a scale in the veg. dept. She said, "we dont sell them by the pount" and I told her i needed something light on my feet. She duly put them on the scale and I pressed the button on "tomatoes" and weighed the two pairs of running shoes, since they were the same weight, I did not buy any of them. She is still looking after me, as if I was a nutter. How dare she. | Customerservice |
| just the fax please. | I'M A SMALL CONTRACTOR AND NEEDED A SUMMER STUDENT TO FILL IN FOR A SECRETARY WHO WAS GOING ON VACATION. SO ONE DAY I HAND TINA (THE NEW GIRL), A QUOTATION FOR A CUSTOMER AND ASK HER TO FAX IT A.S.A.P. SHE CALLED ME A LITTLE WHILE LATER AND ASKED ME IF SHE SHOULD MAKE A PHOTOCOPY OF IT FIRST BEFORE SHE FAXED IT. SO I ASKED HER WHY? THEN SHE SAID "NEVER MIND." THEN I REALIZED THAT SHE THOUGHT THE FAX MACHINE ACTUALLY SENT THE CUSTOMER THE ORIGINALL COPY THROUGH THE FAX MACHINE AND SHE WANTED TO MAKE A PHOTOCOPY TO KEEP ONE FOR MY RECORDS. WHAT A LAUGH I HAD ALL DAY AFTER THAT. | Everyday |
| Always make users sit at the same desk | A call came in one morning from an end user, in a panic because their NT server had shut down unexpectedly (it is normally run via a UPS, which sits next to the Server box). After various efforts to get the box started, I asked the user to by-pass the UPS and plug the server directly into the power supply. This they informed me they had done. Still the server would not boot. As this user is a fiar distance from us, we use a third party to undertakle hardware repairs. I dutifully called them out, and even for their engineer it would be a 120 mile round trip. A couple of days later, on booking another call for different user, I was informed that I had given an engineer two hours in his car to turn the UPS back on. It turned out that a differnet user had sat by the server and kicked the power switch on the UPS. Even so, I would have though that the instruction to 'plug the server directly into the power supply' was fairly easy to follow. | Hardware |
| People | People in general are idiot. I work in a retail store. They make me wear this bright red shirt with the logo printed on it. But anyway, I am out stocking the shelves, you know, big boxes all around me. And all the morons come up to me and ask, "Do you work here?" Idiots. Or after we close and lock the doors, and are counting down the registers, they come running full force, and ram into the door. After trying it 5 times, the try the other door. Finally they get the idea and walk away. But the person watching them decides to give it a try anyway. But my personal favorite idiotic move is when we have the lights off, doors locked, and we are sitting on the bench outside waiting for our rides. The idiots drive up, park, get out of their car, walk up to the door, and actually try to get in. And then, they ask us if we are closed. People are idiots, plain and simple. | Work |
| Idiots on the phone | I was being an idiot one day and had left my colorguard uniform at home, so I had to call from the band directors office. So me and my best friend,Kayla,dialed the number and the line was busy, and we stood there for thirty minutes dailing the phone and getting a busy signal when I said,"Maybe it's like the office phones where you have to dial a number before the phone will answer." So we dialed nine then the number and guess what.....my grandmother answered. -Jessica | School |
| what an idiot | i went to school one day with my friend and i was wearing a skirt and a boy came along and lifted it up i realised that i did not have no knickers on what an idiot! | School |
| Computer nerd | i was watching a computer nerd, and he stuck a floppy disc into the compact disc drive. He jam his computer up and got expelled. | School |
| I AM A TRUE IDEOT. | I AM A TRUE IDEOT I CANT EVEN SPELL IDEOT. I AM ALSO IN A BAND CALLED THE IDEOTS. FOR MORE INFO RING 536625 | Everyday |
| Oh NOOOOOOOOOOO. | I was skinny dipping in the river with my friend. It was fun!!! Then my friend got out and got dressed. Suddenly I heard laughing and I looked up. There was my friend, fully dressed, running away with my clothes! We live 4 streets away from the river and to get home you have to walk along the main road. While I was running home, one of the kids in my class spotted me!!! At school the next day everyone called me the'Naked Idiot.' I was sooooo embarresed!!! | Everyday |
| Some of us still don't get | I was recently on your site and I clicked a link that said internet idiots. The link returned a page that said: "no records returned". Well, I thought to myself, there is no way anyone can tell me that there are no internet idiots, because hey, we still have all these idiots who open crazyily weird e-mail attachements from people they don't know and end up spreading a virus. No matter how many times I hear, "don't open this file" or "if you get a message called soandso delete it right away" on the news, viruses are still spread and millions of people still get viruses and you try and tell me there are no internet idiots, to you sir, I say goodday. | Internet |
| idiot or what? | there was this guy by the corner shop and he seemed to think he was a dog. He was hanging around for about half an hour when this dog walks past and he bends down to sniff its butt! | Everyday |
| Oh Crap! | Well, one day I was in school and I wasn't feeling so good. So I went to the bathroom and sat in a stall. Then, I took the biggest dump ever. I flushed the toilet and it got clogged by the turd and overflowed! The next day the bathroom was locked and it had a sign on it that read: OUT OF ORDER . . . TOO MUCH POOPY! | School |
| Stupid | Last week,I was at a music festival and met the only cool people I've ever met at the festival.So we were going to meet up in the grand stands and at the top the seats were wooden and it's really high up.Anyways,all these really cool older kids are sitting up there and I go up to my friend and start jumping up and down yelling in a loud 2 year old abnoxious voice Am I making you nervous Am I making you nervous.They all just looked at me strange and one named Violet took me by the throat and pushed me against the railing and asks if she was making me nervous.------------------------------Mason Carr(suffering from severe stupidity) | Everyday |
| R U Open Today???? | MY friend he's cool.The END.........................................................................................Okay Okay that was lame but he'll call businesses and ask them if they're open.The employees are always well yeah and burst out laughing but the manager's r serious and r like yes what do u need tody and all that junk. I know that is a lame idiot story but soon I'll have a decent one for yall. -Mason(suffering from severe stupidity) | Everyday |
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